Sweet Subtle Sorrow.
Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have.
Life is so cruel. It can be sweet and yet so subtle. It was such and other thoughts that were running through Nathan's mind as he pondered on his present state. Yet, in his mind, he mocked at himself. Nathan, what a roll that name had on his tongue. The latest of his many names that he had assumed in his life. Of all the identities that he had come across through the eons he would remember this one, for it had taught him more than anything could.
It wasn't that long ago that he had shifted into this small town, a quiet placid place where almost nothing happened. He was a tall well build man, sallow and fair to an extreme. It appeared to most people that he mistrusted the sun, for he avoided it as much as he could. Most women seemed to swoon at something in him, the men hating him for it. "Could do with a good tan" had been the most charitable comment passed at him in the local bar, the more uncharitable ones being unprintable. In his own way he had smoothly slipped into the fabric of the small town, a part of the social milieu that no one would notice, just another part of this place.
He sold some fancy lighting equipment for a living. He worked at nights, visiting houses and demonstrating his wares. Not that he sold many, but he seemed content in his work. What was unusual is that he was always asleep during the day and never ventured out of his home. When the sun went down, he would be up and about his work, taking his lights to some new unsuspecting household in the town. He was never unwelcome, for the women were always pleased to see him, happy at his sight, basking in his attention. The men saw him as both dangerous and evil for the very same reason. He could and would turn their women from sensible rational creatures to fawning adoring playthings. He however did nothing that would cause any serious trouble. He flirted, very well it is to be said, but did not go beyond that. He led women around, but never got involved. In other words he teased and taunted for none had interested him.
He took his Christmas vacation and left the town curiously empty. The women moaned the lack of him, the men celebrated it. When he returned, he seemed revived and refreshed. "It feels like a fresh shot of blood running around inside me", he said at the bar when the crowd asked him about his vacation. Only did he realize the import of those words, the rest of them unaware. He had also brought some new fancier equipment and lights, so it seemed that Christmas had been good for him. This now meant he could return to all the homes he had visited before to sell his new stuff and "earn my bread" as he called it.
It was just past twilight when he rang the bell at the Baldwin household. He had been successful here before, having sold two of his lighting fixtures to Tom, who seemed to like the concept. More importantly, Anna had melted at his sight and the fact that Tom was henpecked must have helped. He rang the bell again and heard a clear feminine voice cry out "Wait a sec,.. I'm coming". He was surprised, for Anna was a woman fighting her forty plus years with not much success.This voice certainly was much sweeter, much younger. He drummed his fingers on the wall, whistling a dirge when he saw Anna puffing her way to the door. "Dear Nathan" she huffed as she reached the door "I'm sorry you have been waiting." She took out a key and opened the door "I was out shopping and my niece who is at home is in her bath." "Aha", ran his mind,niece, obviously it made sense now.
"I had just thought that I could show you my new gadgets," he said, "I've just got them when I went for my vacation." His smile,his voice and his salesmanship were all working their magic. Anna was putty in his hands now. She watched him adoringly as he continued his patter and assembled his equipment. He went on extolling the virtues of his product and smiling at the increasing fascinated Anna.
".... .So, will you take it?" he finally asked. "Oh, yes most certainly" Anna said, "I'll just have to talk to Tom as to how important this gadget is for me." "When do I come back then" he asked "for the delivery and the payment?" assured that his magic had worked again. "Could you come tomorrow," she pleaded "I'll have it ready by then." He thought for a while, no tomorrow was not such a good idea, it would mean Anna would think he was interested and that was something he did not want. After all, an evening with Nathan was something important, something to look forward to. "Day after tomorrow" he said "I'm rather busy the next few days." Anna's face fell, her disappointment obvious.
"Gertrude" she called out "get some cold coffee for Nathan." The niece, he thought, she said a second then, she should have been ready by now. "I heard you come in so I had a leisurely bath" she said. That voice again thought Nathan. It did something to him, making him feel most unusual. This small built pert girl walked into the room. She was in her bath robe with her hair wet and her skin glowing. Nathan stood amazed. It was the proverbial thunderbolt that had hit him. That literary conception, that is supposed to hit every male once in his lifetime, when he falls in love instantly and completely.
Bereft of all makeup and vanity, her bath robe clinging to her near perfect figure, her clear skin and beautiful face lit up in anticipation, she did to Nathan what had not happened in a long long time. She made him fall head over heels in love. Nathan swallowed hard, his mouth dry and his mind empty. He gulped, at a loss for words quite an unusual concept for him. "My coffee.." he stuttered. She served him with this polite smile and left. Left him, it should be added bewildered and confused. This was the legendary Nathan, the woman killer, the breaker of hearts. And, this girl did not want to speak to him ! Both offended and heart broken, he drank his coffee down and left in a daze.
He wandered through that night with thoughts of this Gertrude running in his mind. How could this happen to him. Him of all the people in this town. It was not supposed to be this way ! What could he do now? At first, he decided he had to go back to the Baldwin household. That could be easy accomplished. Then he had to work his way into Gertrude's heart.
The next day saw him at the Baldwin household, dressed and ready to kill. It was to be the first of a great many visits. He charmed and sweet talked his way into Gertrude but curiously enough she was not as affected as other woman were. She still held him at a distance. This infuriatingly enough, drove him crazy. He continued to charm her and she continued to stay aloof. The men of the town now relaxed. Obviously this man was a goner, a man in love, no threat anymore. The women in the town cursed her, he no longer had time for them anymore. Anna on the other hand was oblivious to all, happy that he would come to visit her.
Time passed, slowly for some, quickly for some others. Nathan seemed to be more in love than before, Gertrude warming to him as well. Things proceeded as they could most happily proceed. It was one fine spring night when walking hand in hand through the tree lined avenues of the town, did the twosome sight the full moon in all her beauty. Overcome by the sight,they paused and Nathan did something that was going to regret for the rest of his life. As the moonlight shone on her beautiful face, Nathan popped the magic question, "Will you marry me?". She paused, shocked and surprised. Looking at him, she could see all the times they had spent together, all the fun times they had enjoyed. On an impulse she smiled shyly and said that momentous three letter word "Yes." She drew him closer to her, but something happened then. Nathan's face contracted into a spasm of pain and contorted into a grotesque mask. They had never kissed, true, but that did not mean she could hurt him like this !
She wondered as to what she had done, when he turned his face away and suddenly he was relaxed again. He turned, obviously in pain and said "I have to speak to my boss about all this. I'm sorry Ger but I have to run.". With those words, he left her standing and began to run back to his room. There obviously was more to this than met the eye for she could not understand anything. Why did the boss have to come in if Nathan wanted to marry? Why should it make a difference to him if Nathan married ? These questions would have to wait for the morning when she could speak to Nathan next.As for now, she turned and walked home, wondering what she had done wrong.
As Nathan ran home, he was cursing himself. How could he have been so foolish, the boss would be mad ! He opened his room,entered and shut the door. Before he could turn around, he heard the boss's mocking tone, "Aha, Mr. Nathan it seems you are in love !". His heart sank. As he turned, the boss appeared in his usual garb of rich velvet black. "Prince Vlad IV Tezpes - what is this I hear?. You, Vlad the Impaler the Count Dracula of legend have fallen in love ! A servant of the black prince is to marry !?! Admit it you coward when she was to kiss you, did you not want to bite into her throat, feed on her blood? Then why didn't you ? What has happened to the Count Dracula of yore? He is now afraid when young women offer themselves to him - overcome by silly things as love and affection." It was true, as horrifically accurate as only Satan could put it. What was even more horrifying was that he could not come to thinking of drinking Gertrude's blood. It had become second nature to him over the eons and here in this town in this time, his mind and heart had rebelled. What was he to do now?
As ever, Satan had read his mind. "When I sent you to this town", he said,"it was to learn two lessons. One was because you were getting too sure and too soft and I needed to show you your place." Nathan was suitable chastened. No more would he consider himself invincible. He would be Satan's most loyal servant once again. Count Dracula would be as terrifying as ever before. Satan smiled, almost paternally. "The words," he said "are this - `Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved'. Now go forth into this world haunted by your love. You will never get her, she is something beyond you. Suffer till eternity in the agony of having known what love is and not being able to taste it. For in your suffering, you shall be more monstrous than ever before and ever more my prime follower."
The words etched in his mind and heart, Nathan turned to his task. He quietly and efficiently packed and left, not a trace of him was to be seen. His heart grim and tortured was aching to hurt and maim. He disappeared and was never seen again in the town.He passed out of the collective memory of the town as quickly as he had come into it. But, as she did the next day and for the rest of her life, Gertrude would wait for him, expecting his return and the final chapter of the story of her life to be written.